Funeral Expense

A WOMAN AND HER EVER-NAGGING HUSBAND WENT ON VACATION IN JERUSALEM.

WHILE THEY WERE THERE, THE HUSBAND PASSED AWAY.

THE UNDERTAKER TOLD THE WIFE,

"YOU CAN HAVE HIM BURIED HERE IN THE HOLY LAND FOR $150

OR WE CAN HAVE HIM SHIPPED BACK STATESIDE FOR $5,000.

THE WIFE THOUGHT ABOUT IT AND TOLD THE

UNDERTAKER SHE WOULD HAVE HIM SHIPPED BACK HOME.

THE UNDERTAKER ASKED HER,

"WHY WOULD YOU SPEND $5,000 TO HAVE HIM SHIPPED

HOME WHEN YOU COULD HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BURIAL HERE,

AND IT WOULD ONLY COST $150????"

THE WIFE REPLIED,

"LONG AGO, A MAN DIED HERE, WAS BURIED HERE,

AND THREE DAYS LATER, HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD.

I JUST CAN’T TAKE THAT CHANCE!"

“We shall see the crumbs of bread…And they will show us our way home again”

Episode 10: Organ Grinder-Nick and Hank investigate the murder of a teenager, and the stakes are raised when two vagrant teens are abducted

Alex Kingston tells of fall horror

Alex Kingston has told how she bashed in her front teeth after trying to save face following an earlier bump.

Alex Kingston said she wouldn't rule out a return to Doctor Who

Alex Kingston has told how she bashed in her front teeth after trying to save face following an earlier bump.

The TV beauty, who has played River Song in Doctor Who, began to feel dizzy after playing down a head injury and ended up falling face-first.

Alex, 48, a former star of US TV hit ER, had to be taken to hospital after the accident.

Speaking on Friday's Graham Norton Show, she said: "I was jet lagged, working with comedians, and I walked into a lamppost.

"It was a comedy moment, but I was so embarrassed because I thought I would be the butt of their jokes so I pretended I was fine and that night I started to feel really woozy and I fell flat on my face.

"I bit through my lower lip and knocked out my front teeth. It was really awful. I was doubly concussed and had to go straight to ER," she told Graham during the BBC1 show.

Alex, soon to be seen in Upstairs Downstairs, said she may well reprise her role as Dr Song in the Time Lord drama.

"You may see her again. Let's just say, Upstairs Downstairs and Doctor Who don't film at the same time."

The Graham Norton Show is screened on Friday at 10.35pm.

7500

In the new horror movie "7500," the 273 passengers aboard a Vista Pacific Flight to Japan are far from alone on their 10 hour flight. Directed by Takashi Shimizu, the director of "The Grudge," 7500 will hit theaters on Aug 31, 2012

The Cold Light of Day

A young American (Cavill) uncovers a conspiracy during his attempt to save his family, who were kidnapped while on vacation in Spain. Starring Bruce Willis, Henry Cavill, Sigourney Weaver